Failure

I have to apologize... I've been meaning to write for almost a week and I've been avoiding it.

I went riding last Saturday. I had the worst time.

Porsche had a painful infected tooth, and so she was nervous and fidgety and just generally unhappy. It made me feel nervous, too. Nervous and scared.

I really feel like DeDe doesn't understand me. She's been riding since she was so young that she has never had the kind of fear I have. I don't think she has ever felt unsure or unconfident when riding, and if she has, I don't think she remembers it. She has no idea why I feel the way that I do, and it frustrates her and makes her angry.

Porsche felt my nervousness and took off trotting. I pulled on the reins but she wouldn't stop. She was going pretty fast, and I almost lost my seat. The stirrups were too long and I didn't realize it until I lost control. I panicked a little. It didn't occur to me to do a emergency stop. The reality is, I was scared and I couldn't think. DeDe got angry and yelled at me for it. I would have understood if she was yelling because she was scared for me, yelling at me to find out why I lost control.

She yelled at me that she didn't understand why I'm not getting it. We've been doing this for a long time now, she said. You should be getting it. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. If you just want saddle time, that's fine. But I'm trying to help you and make you better and you're not doing what I'm telling you. When I started riding I wanted it so badly I did whatever my trainer said, she said.

All I heard was that I'm a failure and I'm never going to get it. I nearly started crying right there. I've been riding less than three months. I feel like it's to be expected that I'm going to suck pretty badly right now, and that I'm going to have fear. Horses can be scary. And in my defense, DeDe put me in a bit of a bad position. She knew about Porsche's tooth and still put me on the horse. I don't blame her for not understanding, but I feel like maybe she's not a suitable trainer for a beginner or for a person like me.

I feel like part of the issue would be solved with a good beginner horse. DeDe's horses are all a bit crazy and a bit scary. Porsche and Pandora are her only decent lesson horses, and neither of them really belongs to her. I think I might need to try some of the other trainers at the stable.

I haven't scheduled another lesson yet. I've been keeping myself busy doing other things, going to Disneyland or dancing, finding other stuff to fill my week with. I know I should go back and try again, but I feel really discouraged. I might text DeDe and go tomorrow or Saturday. I haven't decided yet.

All I Want for my Birthday is...

Beach Riding

Horseback riding!

Or maybe a pony, but for some reason I feel that's unlikely to happen.

So, my birthday is coming up in a couple of months, and I wanted to do something special. A close friend had originally wanted to take lessons with me but money prevented him. He and I were talking about what to do for my birthday the other day. We came up with the usual dinner, movie, etc., but that didn't sound like so much fun. He offered to buy me paddock boots and chaps, which would be nice, but... I kind of wanted to go out and do something cool. And then I had an idea. My uncle and my sister and okay, everybody ever is always talking about wanting to go riding with me. I mentioned that I thought a trail ride with would be fun. But then it hit me; what about a beach ride?

My buddy jumped at the idea. It just sounds cool, doesn't it?

So I started to do some research. The results were kind of disappointing. There are no horse-friendly beaches in LA County or Orange County. I kept googling and googling and came up with very few results. There's a place in Topanga called Los Angeles Horseback Riding that has a beach ride. They didn't list a price online, but their website states that all beach rides are long distance. 4-5 hours to get to the beach kind of long distance. I thought about calling them, but I'm afraid of what a 10-hour-long ride will cost... not to mention what it will do to my behind!

There's also a place in Malibu called Park Place Stable. They show very little information on their website about the ride. All they say is that beach rides are private. No price, no time frame, nothing. Very frustrating. They did, however, mention that beach rides take place in Santa Barbara. I'm assuming they trailer their horses there, in which case it's sure to be very expensive as well. I took a quick peek on Yelp and two or three different people mentioned that the beach ride was $500 for two riders. That's absolutely insane. There is no way we could pay $250 each for this!

So, the search was on. I looked for places in Santa Barbara this time, knowing that there is a horse beach in there somewhere. Yet, for some reason, a lot of the Santa Barbara stables appear to trailer their horses to Pismo Beach, near the Bay Area. That's getting waaay too far away for us. Eventually, I came across the Santa Barbara Adventure Company. They were refreshingly clear about their options. $150 per person for two hours, with a group discount available. Plus it's a private ride. Not too shabby, but still on the expensive side.

At some point I found a place that seems to fit a little bit better. It's called Happy Trails Horse Rentals. It's a little bit far, as it's in San Diego, but it's just $90 for a 2 hour beach ride. It says so right on their site (crazy)! On the slightly lame side, they allow walking and trotting only. It's better than walk only, but I love the idea of cantering along the shore. Then again, if I run ahead a little bit, what is anyone going to do about it? Maybe that's bad logic. Maybe if I tell them it's my birthday I'll get away with it!

I have a couple of friends who ride in Riverside. I suppose I could ask them if they know of anywhere and see what they have to say about it. If I get lucky, they'll pull some magical amazing stable out of their butts and we'll go and have a great time. In the event that they don't have stables up their butts, I will probably call Happy Trails and see what I can do about keeping this endeavor as cost-effective (ha!) as possible. If we get lucky, maybe we can get a group discount or an early booking discount. Even if we can't, I'm sure we'll have a great story and a wonderful memory for it.

Or maybe I should just get new boots. ;)

Out on the Trails

I rode trails for the first time on Friday!

At first, I was a little bit worried about it. DeDe texted me before the ride, letting me know that there was construction going on in the riverbed where we would be riding. She told me that she wasn't sure I could handle the horses if they got nervous. I was feeling a little anxious when I got there, and also a little sad. I knew that if it was too hard for me, I wouldn't get to ride.

I haltered Porsche and took her out by myself, while DeDe tacked up Luca. I led her to the wash rack, tied her, groomed her, and picked her feet. I was a little surprised that I got her to pick up her feet for me, actually. In the past, I have had issues with that, as I can't seem to figure out where I'm supposed to squeeze to get her to do it. I had to think really hard about it. You stand at the horse's shoulder, facing its hindquarters. Then, run your hand down its leg to the bubbly joint at the bottom, called the fetlock. Squeeze the fetlock to get the horse to pick up its foot. Hold the foot in your non-dominant hand, and hold the hoof pick in the other. Pick away from yourself, removing any dirt or rocks or anything from around the frog and the horse's shoes, if they wear them. Now you know.

I also tacked her up on my own, mostly. I would like to point out that saddles are really heavy! Up until now, I've always had help lifting it and placing it, but this time I did it alone. I had a bit of trouble remembering to do silly things that would have made my life easier, like hooking the stirrups over the saddle horn to get them out of the way. My shoulder hurt the next day because I spent so long fiddling with it. Once I finally got it on, I tightened the girth (I actually tightened it enough this time! Crazy!) and led Porsche to DeDe's tack room on the other side of the barn. DeDe put the bridle on her for me.

Porsche gave me a little bit of a hard time getting on. She kept trying to walk away from the mounting block. I had to lead her in circles around it three times. It frustrates me a little bit that it's so hard to gain her respect. Eventually though, I did get on, and we were able to take off.

We rode a little way down the railroad tracks, under the freeway, and into the riverbed. I was surprised that the horses weren't phased at all by the horrible groaning noises coming from above us as we rode under the freeway. There weren't and tractors in the riverbed, really. They were outside the riverbed, on the other side of a fence from us. We were above them, and they didn't move around much or get too close to us, so the horses didn't seem to be that interested in them. DeDe commented that most horses would have been losing their marbles at the noise, let alone the few times when they drove near us. More reasons I love Porsche :)

Trail riding is very different than riding in the arena. In the arena, DeDe wants me to collect the reins, while on the trail she wanted me to give Porsche her head most of the time. The horses were kind of on alert because of the noise and movement of the tractors, so I kept talking to Porsche to try and calm her. That was a bit reassuring for me too, actually. DeDe and I chatted as we rode as well. It was fun! Definitely a nice break from the arena.

I feel like this also really boosted my confidence. We did just a few minutes of trotting, and I felt pretty good about that. Of course, I was also really happy that I held it together and didn't really feel nervous while we were riding. I feel like I'm finally starting to get somewhere!

And Better

I'm feeling sooo much better this week!

I rode Porsche again today. She is absolutely my favorite. She's my girl. She makes me feel better about my life.

I tacked her up mostly by myself. I was pretty excited about that, since it's one of my goals to learn to do. DeDe had to help me with the saddle, since Amy and I put it away wrong last time... Oops.

I rode Porsche around the dressage court. DeDe put four little cones in a square in the middle, and had me turning circles through them. I had a little bit of trouble getting Porsche really moving though, and getting her to do tight little circles like DeDe wanted. She wanted me to get the horse to really arc through the turn, and I couldn't seem to get her to do it and move at the same time. DeDe told me to "fluff" her with my outside leg, and that helped a lot. Porsche is really responsive, once I know how to ask her what I want.

I've been doing a lot of walking and turning and circling. I know it sounds very repetitive, but every time, it's a little different, and I learn something new. I have been working on my riding position, confidence, and taking charge, and those are things best learned at a slower pace, I think.

Today, I did do some trotting, though! I know Porsche is supposed to be bouncy, but I was really feeling better about my trot. I tried some posting for the first time; it's difficult! It uses a lot of muscles I'm not used to using. I did some sitting trot as well, once I got tired. I'm getting better at putting my weight in the stirrups and pushing my heels down. I felt like I was bouncing way less. Now I just need to start letting go of the saddle horn! Someone suggested to me that I take it in steps, to improve my confidence. Let go for just a second, and grab the horn again. Once I feel comfortable with that, five seconds. Then ten. Then thirty. And so on and so forth, until I can take the reins and steer. I think it's a great idea, and I'll have to try it next time.

Once we finished the lesson, I untacked Porsche and led her back to her stall by myself, unsupervised. I was really proud of myself for that! I haven't done it on my own until now.

I'm really happy with how I'm progressing. I know I have a lot to learn yet, but I feel like I'm getting there. DeDe and I talked about maybe going on trail next time, which I was really excited about! I really want to get out of the arena for a little bit.

My sisters came with me today, so I feel kind of dumb for not asking them to take pictures for me! I have a couple from last time, so those will have to do until next time.

Better

Oh Porsche, how I love thee.

I missed riding her. It's been forever since the last time I did. And I had a really nice time today.

I went to my lesson with my friend Amy. She's super awesome. We met because we're both taking lessons and DeDe introduced us. I think she's super weird though, because she likes Lola better than Porsche!

We took Porsche out at first. We planned to alternate every fifteen minutes or so. It had been longer since Amy had ridden, so DeDe wanted Amy to go first. I took pictures and Amy rode. She did some walking and circling, and then a little bit of trot. Amy seemed to be having trouble with Porsche's trot though, since it is bouncier, so I got on Porsche and DeDe went to get Lola.

It felt nice to ride on my own for a little bit. I just walked around the round pen and turned a little, but I felt in control, confident, and comfortable. Porsche really is my comfort zone.

I rode around the round pen for a long while, just being comfortable and getting some riding time. Amy lunged Lola I'm the dressage court for a little bit and then got on bareback! It was really exciting, but I didn't see much of it, since I was riding. Porsche was pretty good unless DeDe was close by. For some reason, she chose those moments to act up: trying to open the gate, not turning when I asked her to, and not stopping when I asked her to. It's like she was trying to make me look bad!

DeDe eventually moved me to the dressage court with Amy. Amy was walking Lola, and then she and DeDe lunged her. I went around the court at a walk, did circles and figure eights and zigzags. I felt really happy with the way this lesson went. Not much actual content, but I felt like I regained a lot of confidence from my time in the saddle. I also tried to think about my riding position. I've been reading lots of articles and watching lots of videos about sitting trot lately, and so I had a lot to think about. I tried to keep my heels low and my weight in the stirrups, and to make sure I was not leaning forward and that I was moving my hips with the motion of the horse. Harder than it sounds!

At one point, Lola took off. I guess Amy was lunging her, and Lola just pulled away and took off running back to her stall. I didn't realize it until Lola ran right in front of Porsche and me. I had a little moment of panic; I felt Porsche tense up and I thought to myself, she's going to take off, too. I kept my cool though (mostly), and thought of one-rein stops until we both calmed down. I have to admit, I don't feel comfortable with Lola's behavior... this is the second time she's taken off like that around me.

I really feel like I needed this kind of a relaxed lesson. I felt very good about it. Hopefully next time I'll learn new things and keep this confidence :)

Push...

I've been putting off posting about Thursday's lesson because it was just the worst. The worst. I took me forever to finish this stupid post, because I rehashing is so discouraging. I don't have any pictures either, and I wouldn't post them here even if I did.

I'm a little bit frustrated with Julie. She started school and she hasn't been communicating with me much at all. I spent all of last week trying to figure out what day we were going riding, and when she had classes and when she had work. It wouldn't be a big deal if it was just she and I hanging out or something, but I honestly think it's not fair to DeDe to text her at the last minute canceling our lessons. It's understandable, but frustrating all the same. So, this week I went with my uncle.

Someone else had been riding Porsche, and hosed her off when they were done, so I had to ride Lola.

I really don't like riding Lola.

She's just too advanced for me. That's what it comes down to. I feel very insecure riding her and I think it really isn't safe. Unfortunately I didn't really have another choice this week, but I will certainly make sure next time that I'm going to be riding Porsche.

DeDe was pushing me pretty hard, too. Sometimes that works and it's great, but I was already very nervous and it wasn't really helping. She already knew I was on this horse I was uncomfortable with. I feel like Thursday would have been the day to take it easy, walk through some traffic cones, zig-zag around the dressage court. Just do things to make me feel comfortable and safe. There have been days that I've felt like she could have pushed me harder and I would have been happy, but she seems to only push hard when things aren't going so well. I feel like DeDe sees that I'm not in control and then gets really pushy about it.

We did some groundwork at the beginning of the lesson, and that actually went really well. I lunged Lola a couple of times around in both directions and it went super smoothly. Everything was great until I got on.

Basically, I was really uncomfortable. Rather than letting me get comfortable with Lola, DeDe put us on the lunge line and had Lola trot and canter. I was so, so excited to get to canter, but frankly I kind of hated it. I felt so nervous and precarious and unsafe that I couldn't relax. DeDe kept demanding that I keep my heels down and put my weight in the stirrups. She yelled at me when she wanted me to let go of the saddle horn. She asked my several times why I couldn't do it. I didn't have an answer, and I don't really have one now. It's very hard to think about doing so many things when I'm so nervous, and my teacher is yelling at me, my horse doesn't listen to me, I feel unbalanced because she is trotting diagonally instead of straight forward, I had no warning about when we were going to start cantering, I've never done it before, I'm not riding my regular horse, I'm bouncing and I can't stop, and my teacher is yelling at me.... I want to have fun when I go riding, not feel like I'm awful at it and the horse hates me. I think DeDe forgets sometimes what it was like to learn.

To be clear, I really like DeDe and I think she is a good teacher, but I left on Thursday feeling very discouraged.

She texted me after I left the stable that I'm doing really well and that I have talent and that it takes guts to do what I'm doing. It kind of sounded like an afterthought. Like she felt bad about how the lesson went so she tried to make me feel better. Maybe that is unfair, but sometimes it feels that way. She also told me that she is getting a new horse on the 9th. He is an ex-lesson horse and she said that he will be perfect for me. She also said that I will have no more fear.

I really hope that's the case.

Equestrian Chic

Hey there! I'm actually in Las Vegas this weekend, so I'm not going to have any more riding lessons until next week (boo!) unless I can convince my friends that we need to go riding... which I'm sure would never ever happen. So instead of discussing going around and around a pen, I thought I would talk about riding gear.

I currently ride western, so my line dancing boots have come in really handy. I wear my Tony Lama boots for riding, mostly. I have two pairs of Tony Lamas: the Black Thoroughbred boots and the Tan Santa Fe boots. I don't typically wear my black ones though, since they really need to be resoled. I also have a pair of turquoise Justin Damiana boots, which I adore. They're just the prettiest color. I don't like to wear them for riding though, since they get kinda dirty and beat up. I love my Santa Fes, but I think if my black boots were wearable, I would wear them way more than the brown ones.

I do have a pair of riding pants, though. I have navy blue TuffRider cotton schooler breeches. I like that the knee patch protects my legs, but I think they could be better looking. They collect dust really easily, so they always look dirty. They have a really high rise (I call them my old lady riding pants), which is okay since it keeps my butt from hanging out, and the waistband is just ugly elastic. I always wear shirts over them, because they look so funny. Then again, they look kind of weird with my cowboy boots. I like the look of jean breeches, though. I wish they weren't so expensive, or I would have bought some already! I'm also tempted by full seat breeches, since my seatbones always end up a little sore if we ride for a long time. I really like these, even though they are knee patch breeches and not full seat.

I kind of want to get a pair of english boots, too. DeDe told us after our first lesson that we should consider it when we start riding english. I guess I like the idea of half chaps. I went to a tack shop to get my breeches, and when I went in, I tried on a pair of Ariat lace-up paddock boot and a bunch of different sizes and styles of half chaps, and I really liked them. I felt like they supported my legs a lot. And I feel like they would really help me keep my heels down, because of that. My major issue with paddock boots though, is that I really like my leather-soled boots. All paddock boots seem to have synthetic soles! I found one pair of Justins that have a leather sole, but they have a really western look, and I'm not sure that I like it.

I think that I would prefer a simpler boot. Also, I kind of want a brown boot, but that seems to be impossible to find. All of the brown paddock boots are really dark and not so exciting. I found this picture on pinterest and love this look, but I have yet to figure out what boots these actually are. I would be all over that if I knew.

I love love love that look. I think that's basically exactly what I want. Except, I want leather soles. Then again, sometimes my feet slip a little in the stirrups while I'm riding. It would be really hard for me to get used to walking with rubber soles, since most of my shoes are leather, but maybe it would be a little safer. On the other hand, if I was in danger, a leather-soled boot would slip right out of the stirrup and I could dismount more quickly. I'm not entirely sure, but I know I am extremely comfortable with leather soles. Any thoughts?

I'm also loving the "Equestrian Chic" look lately. I saw this picture (also on pinterest...) and fell in love with the look. I'm definitely going to be looking into getting some slouchy long-sleeve shirts, sweaters, and english boots for the fall! And wearing them with my hair done and red lipstick ;)

The Right Direction... Sort Of

I had the best lesson ever yesterday.

I was really bummed though, because Julie couldn't join me this week, either. She threw out her back, so she really couldn't come. It makes me sad! I miss her. And I know she misses her lessons.

I rode Porsche. She's great. I think if I was going to lease, I would seriously consider her. She was a little grumpy yesterday, since she had been worked pretty much all day. Not hard work, though. Basically she went at a walk with kids riding her for a long while, so she was a little frustrated by the time I got on.

I saddled her today, which I was really happy that I got to do. I didn't cinch it tight enough again, though. The saddle was sliding all over. Note to self: the cinch has to be really tight! Next time I'm going to see if I can put the bridle on too. Speaking of which, I was riding with a western headstall yesterday! It was interesting. The reins are connected, but they aren't a circle. There's a bit of rein past where they connect, if that makes sense. You control the reins with your non-dominant hand, and hold the end in your other hand, on your leg. You pull on the end of the reins with your dominant hand to shorten them. It's a bit complicated to explain, but it made sense after playing with it for a little bit.

Porsche was kind of stompy when I hopped on. She was okay for most of the lesson though. We walked circles around the round pen and practiced turning. DeDe had me look, turn with my shoulders, use the reins, and this time she also had me push Porsche through the turn with my outside leg. It took a lot of leg! I was really surprised at how much pressure I had to apply to get results.

I also learned about "working her from underneath." I've heard the term before, but I didn't really understand what it meant. DeDe explained that when Porsche is walking, she should be taking long enough steps that she puts her back hooves into the hoof prints left by her front feet. She told me to squeeze Porsche with my calves to get her really moving. It felt very different once she responded. Much faster, and a slightly choppier, less ambly shambly gait. DeDe told me that it rounds out her frame... or something. Something good that I didn't quite understand.

We then practiced moving up into the jog. I'm getting much more comfortable with it! From Porsche's faster walk, it was much easier to ask her to trot. There was less of a jarring, lurching feeling moving into the trot than when she's dragging her feet. DeDe didn't have me on the lunge line this time. I let the reins hang loose and held onto just the horn, and let her do her own thing once she started jogging. I'm feeling much more comfortable with the idea of it. This time I was able to think about what to do while I was riding as well: keeping my heels down, looking where we were going, etc. DeDe asked if I wanted to try canter, but I wasn't feeling brave enough. I'm kicking myself for it now!

Porsche was sort of acting up toward the end of the lesson, though. She kept trying to open the gate, and she didn't want to turn the direction that I would want her to. She would stay too close to the rail and bang my feet on it, or too far in and try to get to DeDe. She just didn't want to listen. DeDe ended up getting on her and "tuning her up" for me. She just let the horse know who was in charge, because it's dangerous to have her trying to get out the gate and whatnot. I got back on and went around once or twice, so Porsche would understand that she has to listen to me. We just went around the pen twice, and she listened when I asked her to get on the rail. We ended the lesson ten minutes early, since she was obviously frustrated. I was really proud of myself for not getting freaked out at her acting up. I didn't even realize it until DeDe mentioned it. I must be gaining confidence :)

I untacked her myself this time. It wasn't too hard, just unwieldy! So many things to do at once, especially while removing the bridle and putting on the halter. I got all mixed up, and if Porsche wasn't such a good girl, she might have taken off on me. One day I'll be good at this!

I was really happy with how my lesson went yesterday. DeDe and I discussed taking a break from the arena next week and going on a trail ride instead. I really hope we can do that! I feel like it'll be a really good lesson in itself. DeDe also told me that Julie and I should take a lesson with her with her dressage teacher sometime. I know dressage teaches lots of fundamentals that you can't learn anywhere else, so I think that would be a really great idea.

I'm only getting more excited about this whole horse thing, when I thought it was going to start to calm down. Does that happen?

Goals

I thought it might be a good idea to talk about the things I want to learn and accomplish from working with horses. I figure it's important for me to keep these things in mind when I'm riding.

In the short term:

• I want to build confidence
• I want to feel comfortable with Luca's young horse behavior
• I want to be able to groom and tack up a horse on my own
• I want to ride alone comfortably
• I want to feel confident riding Pandora
• I want to canter! :)

In the long term:

• I want to build confidence
• I want to feel comfortable and capable interacting with and riding horses I don't know
• I want to be able to ride trails
• I want to do groundwork easily
• I want to ride Western, English, and bareback well
• I want to lease a horse

One day:

• I want to be really confident with horses
• I want to buy my own horse
• I want to own a stable and fill it with ponies
• I want to buy a young horse and train it myself
• I want to teach my children to ride

I know a lot of this revolves around confidence. The reality is, I'm not sure of myself when I'm riding or dealing with horses. I know it's not safe to be that way. And it makes me uncomfortable, too! I want to feel happy and not nervous when I'm riding.

I turned down the opportunity to go on a trail ride for the first time, because I didn't feel I'm capable enough. My friend Ellie has been riding for a while now. Maybe a year or so. She told me her instructor has a really sweet horse, but he's just been gelded, so he's still a little crazy. And on top of that, she rides a mare, so I'm not sure what his behavior would be like. And I know her trails are like an obstacle course. I just didn't feel that I'd be in control of that situation. It made me really sad to have to decline the offer :(

I'm going to try to keep these things in mind over the next few months, and hopefully I can improve on these things. 

How to Trot Badly

I'm happy with the way things went yesterday.

DeDe changed our lesson to Monday, since she got a job hauling a horse to Oregon. Julie couldn't make it today, though, since she specifically requests Wednesdays off work. So she was trapped at Starbucks today :(

I talked a friend into coming with me. Her name is Thania. She's never been on a horse before, but she had kind of a crappy week and I figured seeing and petting the ponies would make her feel better.

We actually got there exactly on time, which felt really weird for me because we always show up a half hour early. It was kind of a good thing though, because DeDe had a lesson before us. The student, Raul, was still on Porsche when we got there. We got to watch him trot and lope, which was pretty cool! I'm excited for the day that I get to canter.

DeDe and Raul untacked Porsche, and then DeDe put a different saddle and bridle on her. It was Raul's saddle, and he is a little more advanced, so he rides one-handed with a shank bit. I ride two-handed with a snaffle.

I had a bit of an adventure when I got on, because DeDe asked me to check the girth. I thought it was tight enough when in reality, it was really loose. It kept sliding all over. DeDe had to tighten it.

Thania wasn't sure if she wanted to get on, so she watched while I got on and practiced turns at the walk. There were some cones set up in the dressage court, which I practiced turning through. DeDe had me trot for just a little bit, too.

DeDe had me let go of the reins, hold onto the horn of the saddle, and push my weight down into my heels. Then she cued Porsche for a slow jog. It's really hard to keep from bouncing all over the place! I sort of lost my place after a little while. My heels went up and I was really bouncy, and I felt uncomfortable overall. DeDe stopped Porsche and asked me how I felt, and then had me hold onto both the horn and the back of the saddle. She told me to pull downward as I pushed my weight into my heels.

It felt much better, like I was being lifted out of the saddle. That made trotting much smoother. I felt a little bit more comfortable with the idea of it by the end of the lesson.

Thania ended up hopping on at the end of my lesson. DeDe led her around the dressage court a couple of times, and then I led her around the barn, to the hitching post. We untacked her, brushed her down, and then I led her into her stall and took her halter off for the first time. It was actually the first time I had helped untack at all.

Thania really liked the stables, which I was really happy about. When we were done, we went and fed Pandora and Porsche. Thania wanted to walk around and see all the horses, so I took her to see all the extra pretty ones. I think her favorite was Lacey. Not surprising! Lacey is easily the prettiest horse in the barn. She's such a sweetheart, too! We got to pet her for the first time, and she is the sweetest, quietest horse.

We also had a conversation with Pandora's owner and Dolly's owner (they are friends. Dolly is a chestnut paint horse with white just on her legs and face. Very pretty!) about leasing horses. They told Thania and I that when we are ready and feel like we want independent riding time with a horse, leasing is a great option. They told us that plenty of people at our stable lease, and that depending on how many days a week you want, it runs $100-300. They went on to tell us about a feed lease, which is more expensive, but it means that you are the only one who rides the horse. I have to say, if I was going to lease any horse in the barn, it would be Lacey. I love Pandora, but I feel like I'm not going to be at her level for a long while.

I felt like I really ended on a good note. I love riding Porsche because she is a confidence builder. I adore Pandora, but she definitely isn't! I'm excited for the day that I feel like I can really ride her, though. :)

Frustration

Today kind of felt like banging my head against a 1200 pound wall. It was just a weird, kind of sucky lesson.

Julie and I usually arrive about a half hour early for lessons. We've done this every time we've had a lesson so far. I didn't last Friday, but that was only because I thought she had someone scheduled directly before me. However, when DeDe got there, she seemed surprised and irritated that we were there early. I guess she has been stressed lately. She is sort of in limbo with her housing situation and is currently looking for a place to live. In our past couple of lessons, she mentioned it, but she was still her usual peppy encouraging self. But today, she definitely brought it all with her.

Julie and I kind of expected to ride today. My heart sank when DeDe said we were going to be doing groundwork. It makes me really nervous and uncomfortable, frankly. I know I need to get over it. I want to have horses one day and it's something I need to know how to do. But... I guess riding, in the end, gives me a confidence boost that groundwork does not. I know Julie feels the same. Probably more so, since I seem to understand the concepts of groundwork a little better than she does.

This time we each had our own horse to work with. Julie had Lola, and I had Luca. The reason we haven't ridden Luca yet is because he has an abscess on one of his feet. I was a little confused about why we were taking Luca out today. For one, he makes me nervous because he is young and a bit nippy, he has been cooped up in his stall and has a lot of energy. For two, he has an abscess. The vet said to hand walk him bit I felt like this was putting a bit of pressure on me. He was fine leaving his stall, but on the way to the round pen, he decided it was time to jump around and get excited (spooked?), and I freaked out a little. It was a bit embarrassing, really.... I didn't exactly scream, but I definitely squeaked and dropped the lead rope. He's just a bit too high strung for me still, I guess. DeDe took the lead rope and took him into the round pen and lunged him for a little bit, let him roll in the dirt and whatnot, but in the end he was too lame for her to be comfortable with it. She put him back in his stall and brought Porsche out instead. I didn't really understand why we tried him in the first place. He scared me quite a bit and it put a damper on the rest of the lesson for me.

Julie had a lot of issues with today's lesson. I don't know if it's just because she was being a butt or didn't understand her or something, but she had a lot of trouble getting Lola to do what she wanted. I felt bad. I felt like the lesson ended on a really sucky note for Julie, and she seemed really bummed about it. I did a teeny bit better, but I'm not sure if that was because I understood better, or because Porsche was more willing to listen to me. I still wished that I felt like we accomplished something besides being awful at groundwork.

On a brighter note, we bought some black licorice, which is Pandora's favorite treat! She was really excited about it. Julie snapped a couple of really cute pictures of me with Pandora, and one or two with her super-sweet next door neighbor. We couldn't take pictures of each other doing groundwork, since we each had a horse. Which is a good thing, I guess!

She let me pet her for all of about one second.

I kept pulling her over, trying to get a picture holding her head, but she was not having it. She wanted to know where the rest of her licorice was!

Silly Pandora! It's all gone.

I love this horse. She's amazing. One day I'll be able to really ride her!

It's really bothering me that this picture is a different size from the others, but Julie took it with her phone and it's just sooo cute!

InstaPonies

I'm kind of addicted to instagramming pictures of my buddies.

I have about 45 pictures on my instagram, and probably a quarter of them are pictures of horses. That doesn't sound too bad, except that there have been 8 in the past month... and I really don't think it's going to slow down. I feel like the only really exciting thing going on in my life right now is this. And I've been trying to take lots of pictures.

I thought I would share some of my pictures. I enjoy looking at them and playing with them to make them pretty for instagram. 

Some of them are pictures I've shared before. 

Some I haven't. My accidental pictures of Luca are some of my favorites.

I took these two before I met DeDe and started riding. I find it so funny that I thought he was so cute that I posted both of these!

It's actually gotten so bad recently that some of my friends have been asking if I bought a horse. I wish! I'd love to have a pony of my own to love on all the time!

But one day... I will :)

A Pain in the 2600 lb Butt

Pandora... Oh, Pandora.

She's super pretty, and really sweet... but she's a butt. She gave me a really hard time today.

Grooming her was kind of an adventure. She's just so tall! I could barely reach up her back. She was great while I was grooming her, but she really didn't seem happy about tacking up. She kept trying to walk off. Not only that, but we had to put a different bridle on her, because hers was all weird. The bit was hanging way low for some reason. She seemed really unhappy about all that.

I was excited to ride her, but honestly I was also really nervous. Pandora is just so huge! It's a little scary. DeDe took her around the round pen a couple times first, to show me that I really needed to push her, because she's so strong and so huge that she can easily do her own thing if I didn't show her I was in charge.

That's something I have a really hard time with. I want to ask the horses nicely to do things for me. I don't want to kick them, I don't want to yell at them. It works with some horses in some cases... like Porsche and Lola. They want to go forward. But Pandora really really doesn't. Pandora needs to be pushed, and hard.

I was constantly kicking Pandora, through my whole lesson. I just couldn't kick her hard enough to get her to pick up her feet. DeDe told me that part of my issue was that I pulled on the reins at the same time as I kicked her, so I confused her. Eventually she got me a riding crop to smack her with, but I couldn't seem to do that either. I don't know if it was just the way I was holding it, but I couldn't hit her very hard. More likely it's that I was afraid of hurting her... which is silly.

Getting her to stop was an adventure. I had the same issue with the reins that I have with the kicking and the crop. I had it with Porsche and Lola, too. However, because Pandora is so strong and so big, I got over it quickly. I feel much more comfortable with yelling at her to "ho"and pulling hard on the reins now.

I trotted for the first time today too. I was a little (read: a lot) nervous about that. The last time I trotted, when Lola took off on me, I felt really insecure. I definitely felt insecure when I trotted on Pandora, too. DeDe said that Pandora has a pretty smooth trot, but still... all that bouncing makes me feel unseated. I kept wanting to hold the horn, but then I couldn't steer or stop, which was kind of scary. I felt really proud of myself for stopping her on my own, with the reins and yelling at her, while trotting. I that may have been my biggest accomplishment today.

Or it might have been getting her to trot in the first place... I had to keep wimpy-smacking her with the crop and kicking her and yelling to get her to go! I really want to work on my confidence and my take charge-y-ness over the next few weeks.

I don't have as many pictures today, since I didn't have anyone to take them while I was riding, but I did get a couple of Pandora in her stall.

Since it's Friday, I hung out for a while at the stables. DeDe gave me some extra time in the saddle since it took so long to tack Pandora up, and then I stayed and watched to next lesson, helped the kids groom Lola, helped lead Luca from his stall to the round pen and back. We had a little bit of an adventure with Lola, too. She used to be abused, and we assume that they whipped her face and head, since she has scars there. When DeDe was taking her out of the cross ties,  she freaked out. She pulled back and practically sat down on her hindquarters until the cross tie broke, and took off running to her stall. DeDe went and caught her, and everything was fine after that. She said Lola doesn't like things around her face, probably because of the abuse. 

On another note, I hurt myself somehow! I think I scraped my arm on the saddle while dismounting. Pandora's so tall that I guess I was clinging to it a little bit.

Oh, Pandora... You're so pretty! Why are you such a butt?

Getting Comfortable

This week's lesson went much better than last week's. I was sooo nervous last week. But this week, as I sort of started to do things right, I got a lot more confident.

This week we rode Porsche. I thought she was the Tennessee Walking Horse, but I guess I was wrong, since DeDe said she's a quarter horse. She was such a sweetheart though! All she wanted was for us to pet her and give her love. It was the sweetest thing. And I could tell Julie liked her much better than she liked Lola!

We started the lesson with groundwork first. It was super intimidating! She makes it look so easy, but when I'm not on the horse, it's a lot harder to ask for what I want. DeDe has us lunge Porsche, but it didn't work so well. We're really bad at it! Julie had trouble getting her to keep moving, and I had a hard time asking her to go faster. We're thinking that we're going to do groundwork once a month, so we can, one day, be better at it.

Julie rode first this time. I took pictures while she reviewed last week's riding. She practiced taking Porsche around the ring at a walk, stopping, turning, and backing up. She looked way more comfortable this week. Way less nervous. I feel like she's doing really well, considering that she's never been on a horse before these lessons. The only thing I think she really needs to work on is sitting up straighter in the saddle.

I felt much better about my time in the saddle. I still definitely felt nervous as I was getting on Porsche, since groundwork didn't go so well. But I got comfortable really fast. The first couple times I asked the horse to stop, she didn't listen well, but DeDe stopped me and told me to hold the reins closer to her mouth, be very loud and firm when I give the command, and if she doesn't listen, then hold the reins back until she stopped. Immediately, I felt a huge difference and a huge confidence boost!

Turning was sort of interesting, too. The ring was a little muddy, so Porsche kept making these huge wide turns to avoid it. I felt much better about turning this week though. DeDe told me to look in the direction I wanted to go, move my shoulders, and then use the reins. It worked perfectly :)

I'm really happy with the way lessons have been going. I'm taking an extra lesson by myself tomorrow, which I'm really excited for. Maybe I'll get to ride Pandora!

Slightly Scary

This is going to be a bit of a long post. I always wanted details on what you learn in your first horse riding lesson, and it was difficult to find anything beyond the very basic list: groom, saddle, mount, dismount, start, stop, turn.

I know Julie was a little bit scared when we went for our first lesson this past Wednesday. She's never been on a horse before, or really been around horses at all, so it was kind of a big jump for her. Even though I've ridden before, I was definitely nervous too. Way overexcited, but nervous.

We were working with Lola this time. Lola is a little fleabitten grey mare. I think she's a quarter horse, but I forgot to ask. She was sort of a rescue; DeDe was hired to train her by owners who abused her, but the owners eventually gave up on her and sold her to DeDe for a dollar. You would never know it, though. She's very sweet.

When we got there, the Ringling Bros train was going by. This sweet girl was freaking out about the noise and the smell. Her name is Lacey. She wouldn't stop pawing and tossing her head and snorting. It's a little blurry, but this was the only picture I got of her that she didn't look absolutely terrified. She's gorgeous, though.

DeDe explained to us how to lead a horse. She talked us through putting the halter on Lola, and then explained that we should be at the horse's left side and hold the lead rope in our right hand, with the excess coiled in our left hand. She told us to walk out, and that the horse should follow, and that to stop we pull the rope directly backwards and say "whoa." She then handed me the lead rope. I had trouble getting Lola out, since she's a little barn sour. I didn't realize I had to ask nicely for her to move! I thought it was so funny that I had to tell her to "walk out" and click before she would come out of her stall.

I led Lola closer to the train, where we were going to groom her, but Dede ended up leading her part of the way since it was making he a bit nervous. She tied Lola to a hitching post, and showed us how to use the different brushes. We used the rubber curry comb to get the dirt to the surface of her coat, and the body brush to brush the dirt away. We didn't use the dandy brush, since Lola is a little sensitive to it. We brushed through her mane and tail, and learned how to pick up Lola's feet and pick them out. They were surprisingly heavy! And it was hard to tell what was dirt or pebbles, and what was hoof. I know that probably sounds silly, but hooves are confusing things. After that, DeDe explained how to saddle the horse as she showed us. I would have like to try it myself, I but I see that it wasn't really practical to have us taking the saddle on and off and on and off.

DeDe put Lola on the lunge line and showed us what cues we were going to be using: "whoa" to stop, once click and "walk out" to ask for the walk, two clicks and "trot" to ask for the trot, and a kiss to ask for the canter. She told us those are fairly universal cues; most horses will respond to them. Then she showed us how to put the bridle on the horse.

After that it was off to the mounting block. She talked me through it as I got on. She told me that I should hold the reins in my left and try to hold onto the horse's mane, not the saddle horn. I wasn't comfortable with the idea of pulling on Lola's mane just yet, and DeDe said it was fine to hold the horn for now. She still had the halter and the lunge line on the horse so we could get comfortable and learn to move with the horse. It was a little intimidating to be so high off the ground, and I had definitely forgotten what it felt like to ride. For some reason I didn't remember having to move my body so much, but DeDe told me I had a perfect seat (thanks to years of horse-craziness, I understood what I was supposed to be doing).

First DeDe showed me what to do in case of an emergency. She showed me to pull on one rein to disengage Lola's hindquarters if she bolts, so she has to stop running. She also told me that if Lola bucks, I can pull her head up, and that will stop her. Rearing is a little more difficult since there's not much you can do, but leaning forward will help keep the horse from getting up. Then she had me cue Lola to walk around the pen.

After several corrections from DeDe, I got comfortable with the riding position and the motion of the horse, and she had me turn Lola around to go the other direction. I had a bit of trouble with it. I wasn't sure exactly where I should put my hands on the rein, and I seemed to always have to reach down the rein to have any leverage to turn her. I also had issues with stopping her, since she always wanted to go back to the center of the ring to DeDe. I guess I just held the reins a little looser than I should.

At one point Lola sort of took off on me. She misunderstood DeDe's cue and decided that it was time to trot, and it really caught me by surprise. DeDe told me to pull back on the reins, but in the moment I kind of froze up and just held onto the saddle horn. DeDe ended up stopping her for me. She explained that I had let my chest fall forward and my back round, and my feet moved backward. I wasn't entirely sure how that exacerbated the situation, since I was a bit flustered in the moment. 

Dismounting was a bit tricky for me. Since I had been so excited and nervous, my legs were a little shaky, so I had trouble getting my leg over Lola's back. I eventually got down, no worse for wear, and Julie took her turn. She seemed to have a bit more trouble with the reins than I did. It really is hard to gauge how long they should be. She also had issues with the stirrups; since they just wouldn't go short enough for her, she felt unstable and uncomfortable.

Afterward, Julie led Lola back to the hitching post and we brushed her down with just the soft brush after DeDe removed her saddle and Julie removed the bridle. I led her back to her stall. She was in such a rush! I had to keep pulling back to slow her down to a reasonable speed. We put her away, and then fed her, Luca, and Pandora some baby carrots we had brought with us. :)

This turned out to be really long... but I really wanted to talk about everything. I had a really good time and I'm super excited to learn more! Julie and I are probably going to be going every week, and I'm hoping to fit in another lesson on my own every now and then. So... I think that's all! Unfortunately I only have a couple of pictures to share (and unfortunately Julie's phone broke, so the pictures of me are lost). Next week I will really try to take more! Until next time :)

The Beginning: Begging for Ponies

I always wanted a pony.

I used to ask Santa every single year for a horse, and Santa was always a disappointment. When I would run outside on Christmas morning, there was never a pony. Not even a miniature-lawn-ornament pony, and every year I would cry. I fell asleep almost every night with my horse encyclopedia close at hand. I used to beg my mom for a pony. I didn't understand how expensive horses are, and I wanted one so badly. When I was four years old, I had a dream that I was a pony, and I told my mom that I should have been born a horse. She will never let me forget these things.

My mom used to take me on some birthdays to go trail riding. We would go with my cousins and siblings and closest little girl friends, and get on these horse that had glazed eyes, and knew only to walk nose to tail. Still, I thought it was the greatest thing in the world. I even got my horse to trot once or twice, which, as a little horse-obsessed girl, is the most exciting thing ever. We never had the money for me to take real lessons or to have my own pony, though I would beg, trail rides once every other year or so was the best we could do.

The horse craze lasted until I was 12 or so. Some disagree with me on that point, though. I say, the craze ended then. I learned to contain my absolute and utter love for horses and act like a normal human being before I finished middle school.

Now I am 21. It's been a long time, but finally I've begun to make my childhood dream come true. Last week, I went to a stable with my best friend Julie, met with an instructor, and made an appointment for a lesson. The lady's name is DeDe. She's very nice, and she asked lots of questions about what we wanted to learn and how we felt about horses, and talked us through the things we're going to learn. Afterward she introduced us to her horses. She has five horses she uses for lessons: Lola, a little white mare, Luca, a bay Thoroughbred gelding, Pandora, a huge Percheron-Friesian cross mare, and a grey Arabian and a chestnut Tennessee Walking Horse whose names I forget- I only met them briefly.

Yesterday we had our first lesson. DeDe taught us to lead and groom Lola, and showed us how to tack her up. She showed us how to cue Lola to walk, trot, and canter on the lunge line first, and then had us mount and ride. I'll talk more about it in another post.

I don't have any pictures of me riding, since Julie took pictures of me with her phone. I do have a couple of her riding, though. I'm super excited to go back, and I'm hoping to be able to take more than one lesson next week- crossing my fingers!